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"HUMAN SPEECH IS LIKE A CRACKED TIN KETTLE, ON WHICH WE HAMMER OUT TUNES TO MAKE BEARS DANCE WHEN WE LONG TO MOVE THE STARS."

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Electrolytes Motherfucker.

Let's get its straight, Gatorade is liquid gold. If it contained alcohol I would be on my third liver and in desperate need of an intervention. 

So, in honor of the greatest liquid to ever touch my lips (that's what she said), I present the five greatest Gatorade flavors of all time.


1. Gatorade Frost Glazier Freeze.

People with no arms say it's the best, hands down. Fact.




2. Gatorade Lemon Lime.

Classic. The Original. 




3. Gatorade Fruit Punch.

The all time bestseller.



   4. Gatorade Frost Cascade Crash

   Poorly named.

 

 
   5. Gatorade X Factor Fruit Punch & Berry

 Who doesn't love fruit punch and who doesn't   love berries?




Honorable Mention: 
Gatorade Orange and Gatorade Frost Riptide Rush.
Let the debate begin.


Friday, January 30, 2009

NFL Fantasy Files

No explanation needed. Just watch and enjoy.

Shout out to Ben Saponar.

The Superfan.

Charlie Dakin and Mike Kraver don't have shit on this guy.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

On passion....

I'd first like to acknowledge the fact that the Snuggie is an abomination. It is also, however, like the 10 pound hamburger that you thought would be awesome to eat, until you realize that after consming it, you just consumed a baby calf. Now to my post...


“I say to you this morning, that if you have never found something so dear
and so precious to you that you will die for it, then you aren’t fit to live.
You died when you refused to stand up for right. You died when you refused to stand up
for truth. You died when you refused to stand up for justice…”
I arrived at the steps of the Supreme Court at an extremely poignant juncture on January 22, 2009; an axis of civil argument, a collusion if intellectual banter. It was five o’clock and the sun was setting over the City of Presidents; the very collision of night and day in the heavens reflecting the collision now occurring in front of my eyes. The battle lines had been drawn, as they have been since 1973, and the forces were ebbing in from all corners of this great country. A few days prior, I had seen the docile demonstration of nearly two million people gathering to celebrate new beginnings and second chances. However, I was now observing less than 200 people so impassioned and so invigorated by their beliefs that they could be heard from a mile away. In Dr. King’s last sermon at Ebenezer Baptist Church spoke to the kind of passion I was witnessing. The Reverend spoke of two types of human beings: those who believe in something so passionately and wholly that they would forsake life to see its end and those whose last breath is merely a delayed indication of the death of spirit that occurred many years before due to indifference. While the demonstration was supposed to have winded down by the time I got there, what I witnessed were individuals who believed in their respective causes to the extent that Reverend King championed; I was witnessing individuals who had not only weathered a day of high winds and frigid temperatures, but I was certain, would be willing to die for their cause.
“What I don’t understand,” said James, a fervent pro-life participant, “is that I am passionate about ending abortion because I believe it is constitutionally approved murder. Whether I am right or I am wrong, my conviction is that abortion is death.” Then turning to the pro-choice camp, who had seemingly tripled in numbers in a mere 10 minutes and were now winding up their own demonstrating, James continued, “What I don’t understand is what they have to be so passionate about. I stand on a moral ground, but what do they stand on?” Behind James was a hauntingly appropriate backdrop: a mass of pro-lifers, on their knees, praying for the souls across from them, now reveling in their right to choose, in their right to democratic freedom. Colliding with the hushed and kneeled benedictions were the equally moving calls for the recognition of rights, for the recognition of the human will to choose in the government’s stead. I took James’ question, “what do they stand for” to the pro-choice side and was surprised at the answer I received. “We stand for WOMEN!,” Alya shouted over the chants of her compatriots. “We stand for our right to choose! What people don’t understand,” looking disgustedly towards the calm sea of worshippers, “is that we don’t believe in killing babies- who would ever want that?,” she asked incredulously, “We believe that the right to choose what happens to our bodies is so sacred, so vital to our existence, that we are willing to come out here and lose everything to make sure the next generation of American women have the right to choose.” Her passion and ardor floored me, yet even if I could have offered a retort, my meager words would have been drowned out by the ensuing cheer that arose from the revolving door of women who also believed choice was synonymous with life. To be continued....

The Snuggie


We've all seen it and we've all laughed at its expense. The infomercial airs at 3am, right about the time when I stumble back into my dorm after a long night of drinking. Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's the weed, maybe it's neither. Either way, The Snuggie looks like one of the most ridiculous products ever pitched to the consumers of America. It was probably invented by some guy who was so hungover he put his robe on backwards and decided he was dressed.

Now, normally a product like this would never warrant any of my attention, but The Snuggie and I have a score to settle. Let it be known that in sixth grade I participated in a science fair known as the "Invention Convention." My entry into the competition: A blanket with sleeves. Of course, The Snuggie has now sold over 4 million units and has become a pop culture phenomenon. 

Sure, wearing a Snuggie may be comfortable but by donning such a ridiculous costume you also run the risk of being confused as a KKK member or medieval monk. Does the couple above not look ready to drink the cool aid?

Stephon Marbury, Bigger Than Basketball

Stephon Marbury is in great shape and has yet to play a game this season. Still, he is scheduled to earn 20.8 million dollars this year. Let me say that again, 20.8 million dollars just to hang out with his boys. That's the sixth largest salary in the NBA. Only Kevin Garnett, Jason Kidd, Jermaine O'Neal, Kobe, and Shaq bring home bigger checks. 

Marbury's hiatus stems from a disagreement with Knicks Head Coach, Mike D'Antoni. With neither side willing to cave, it looks like Stephon will have to get used to watching the Knicks on his 60 inch plasma. Poor Stephon. 

A team from Greece briefly showed interest in Stephon, but they are currently pursuing Jannero Pargo instead. Rumor has it that the Celtics have also thrown their hat into the ring but the Boston Front Office is unable to contact Stephon until he is released from New York.

Personally, I cannot say this loud enough: Do Not Bring That Cancer to Boston. Period.

 I do, however, have respect for Stephon because he endorses a 15 dollar basketball shoe. Jordan's shoes run over 100 dollars and remain unaccessible to the average 18 year old.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I Love You Man

 

The latest movie from Jason Segel and Paul Rudd, the same guys from Knocked UpForgetting Sarah Marshall and Role Models. To be perfectly honest, they are hilarious. 

There's No "I" in "Team" but There is in "Win"

Let's get it straight, Stephen Curry is Davidson Basketball. If you haven't had the pleasure of watching him play, I recommend you do so immediately.

I wish I could say the say the same thing for the scrubs he calls his teammates. Let me breakdown a Davidson huddle for you:

Coach McKillop: Max, what do you do if you get the ball?

Max Gosselin: Trick                                                                                                question, coach. I shouldn't                                                                                   have the ball. Stephen should.

The Rebirth of Lil Wayne

There is no doubt that Wayne is the illest MC in the game. Wielding a fresh blunt and a cup of cough syrup, he has certainly established himself as the greatest rapper alive. But Wayne never rests. Half the time, I feel as if he stumbles into the booth at 5am, sparks up, hits record, and just talks. 

Over the weekend the song "Prom Queen" off his newest album, was leaked onto the internet. Warning: It certainly isn't the Wayne we are used to hearing, nor is it close to anything I would consider credible music. Maybe Lil Wayne has smoked one too many blunts. Maybe he hasn't slept since March 2008. Either way, he needs to put down the guitar and pick up the mic.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Every beginning is just the beginning of another end...

Stop. Listen. Did you hear that? Listen again. That is the sound of pure silence...and it certainly is a beautiful thing. Today, my world was quiet...was yours?

As my compatriot alluded to, no introductions are really necessary- our thoughts are fleeting, but these letters are eternal. Everything, and anything, goes. We hope you agree with our words, but far more than agreement, we hope what we say strikes a cord, perhaps makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable. We won't be afraid to challenge you or each other...don't be afraid to return the favor.

I generally have a complete disdain for Starbucks, however one learns to make sacrifices in the name of hot chocolate- in this case, a venti signature hazelnut hot chocolate, no whip! (Translation: A 20oz. paper cup(20% recycled paper, excuse me) with chocolate powder, milk, and hazelnut(all apparently of the "Signature" nature), and please, for the last time, no whipped cream) Yet, little did I know, this Starbucks cup contained much more than overpriced hot beverage. Most don't associate wisdom with coffee, but my cup contained just that- a quote that not only offered great insight, but truly spoke volumes. "The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."

808's and Heartbreak


808's and Heartbreak has certainly sparked debate but Autotune aside, the man can make a dope Music Video.

Salutations.

No introductions are necessary. We are both 18 and we both know what's good. Politics, Pop Culture, Books and Beats. You want to know what we know. 

This is our story.