Elizabeth Swann.

Keira Knightley just seems fuckin' cool.

Her latest spread for the Red Nose Campaign.

I want one of these t-shirts.

KAWS.

One of my favorite artists out there. Graffiti roots. Finally getting some respect. Wish I could do this.

Fetch Rookie.

No wonder the Golden State Warriors are the best team in the league. Oh wait..

The Office quote of the day...

"Dwight, you ignorant slut!"

-Michael Scott, in response to Dwight's guess as to why he is standing on the roof of Dunder Mifflin

Sit Down Jerel McNeal.

Get em' A.J.

Yeahhhhhhhh.

New Playlist Coming Soon..

The Top 10 Things I'm Tired of Hearing About.

Really? Is there nothing else to report about? 

You're beating a dead horse.

Number 10: The Geico Caveman

I laughed. Once. To myself.

Number 9: The Phrase "Going Green"

We get it. Our environment is suffering. 

Reducing you emissions by 2% doesn't make you environmentally conscious.

Check your carbon footprint motherfucker.

Number 8: Many Ramirez 

Turning down a 2 year 45 million dollar contract. That's not Manny being Manny. That's Manny being a moron. 

Number 7: American Idol

Tell me who wins. Goodnight.

Number 6: The Dallas Cowboys

You haven't won a playoff game since 1996 despite having a star studded cast. You get no respect nor attention from me.

Number 5: Stephon Marbury

Dude just needs to play ball.

Number 4: Chris Brown

So he beat Rihanna. So he assaulted his girlfriend. Give the man a break. It's the only story they run on BET.

Number 3: The NFL Draft and Combine

I don't care who Mel Kiper Jr. would pick first. He doesn't own an NFL team. And the Combine means close to nothing. Tom Brady was picked in what round?

Number 2: Michael Phelps

Legalize It.

Number 1: Steroids

Honestly, what the fuck. Not one of you can tell me you turn on SportsCenter and say, "Oh man, I can't wait to see the latest developments in the BALCO investigation!"

Range for Days.

Dwight Howard before a game against the Heat earlier this week.

The Office quote of the day...

"How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jack hammer. Merciless. Insatiable."

-Dwight Schrute 

Million Dollars.

More Than Meets The Eye.

Megan Fox & Robots. Enough Said.

Squashing the Opponent.

The L.A. Lakers won 33 straight games during their 1972-1972 season.

From 1999 to 2001, Australia won 16 straight Cricket matches.

In 2007 the Bethel Boys Soccer won 17 games in a row. Holla!

Impressive as these may be, none of these streaks belong on the same pedestal as the one put together by the Men's Trinity College Squash Team. You may have caught their story on ESPN. They don't know how to lose. Behold true greatness.

Oscars Preview...

Coming off the worst year ever with viewers, the Academy looks to revemp the Oscars with a complete makeover. With Hugh Jackman hosting (really, Wolverine), and no names of award givers being released, this year shapes up to be a beast of a diffrent nature. Readers, the biggest show in showbiz just around the corner. The Kettle reveals its picks...

BEST ACTOR

Who Should Win: Frank Langella... his performance in the surprisingly epic Frost/Nixon was a career topper. He captured the idiosyncratic nature of Richard Nixon to the point where it seemed just too real. Definitely worthy of this Oscar.

Who Will Win: Sean Penn...the timeliness of this performance is what will win Penn the Award. With California recently passing Proposition 8, awarding an actor who played a homosexual man, in San Francisco, will keept the issue topical. Not to mention, Penn performed in the role of his life.

BEST ACTRESS

Who Should Win: Meryl Streep...It seems that whatever Streep touches turns to gold, and her role in Doubt lives up to expectations. However, with her record 16 nominations over they years, and her many wins, the Academy won't reward the top performer this year.
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet...she ended the year with two strong peformances in the Reader and Revolutionary Road, and even though I believe that she was nominated for her weaker role, the Academy will take both into account. Winslet wins her first on her sixth try.

BEST PICTURE

Who Should Win: Slumdog Millionaire....God, such a great year for cinema with all these movies worthy of this award, and as much as I believe Frost/Nixon will be remembered far past Slumdog, I just can't help but pick this feel good story- no doubt, the Academy will feel the same way.
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Who Should Win: Heath Ledger...I mean really, no explanation is necessary. Not only will this serve to commemorate a young master of the craft taken far too early, but also a timeless performace as the Joker.
Who Will Win: Heath Ledger

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Who Should Win: Marisa Tomei...in my third favorite movie of the year, The Wrestler, Tomei stands out even as the ressurection of Mickey Rourke fills the screen. Not many actresses bare all once they reach a certain pinnacle, but even more impressive was her ability to act as a wrestler with life in a movie about wrestling.
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz...in an extremely Academy-esque performance, Cruz was a force to be reckoned with in the unrecognized Vicky Cristina Barcelona. A historically tough category, but she'll win.

BEST DIRECTOR

Who Should Win: Danny Boyle...I am a big advocate for this award being given to the director of the best film, but this year is the toughest I've seen in a while. Fincher directed a visual masterpiece in Button, and Ron Howard might have submitted his top work ever in F/N, but it is Boyle who captures the hearts of the academy with his fabulous work, getting dirty in the streets in Mumbai.

Who Will Win: Danny Boyle

Zone Out..

Vibe on this one next blunt session..

Home Bred.

We played this kid in the preseason last year.
Jordan Williams is a 6'8'' 245 Pound Center from Torrington, CT.
He is a McDonald's All America Nominee and is expected to sign with Maryland at the end of this season.

Sure, this is an amazing highlight and the kid is a beast, but when we played him, he told me and I quote, "Quit pushing me, man." (Don't believe me? Ask Devaney.)

I'm 5'8" and 150 pounds.

He did, however, make the Top Ten Plays at Number Two. 

Good Shit Jordan. Represent Connecticut.

The Office quote of the day...

"I am not offended by homosexulaity. In the 60's I made love to many, many women- outdoors, in the mud and the rain- and a man might have slipped in there. There would have been no way of knowing"

-Creed Bratton, on Oscar coming out of the closet

Day N' Nite

Good Song. Better Video.

Oh Electric Avenue, Take it to the Next Level!

Quick, name the movie this song is in.

Then spark up.

Finally.

I won't post naked pictures often, but I've been waiting for these since Making the Band first began.

Ladies and Gentleman (Well, mostly gentleman), I present to you, Aubrey O'Day's Playboy Spread.

Goddamn.

The Force Is Strong With This One...

Prepare to be disturbed, impressed, disgusted, and shocked- all at the same time. This is worse than a "geodump". This past weekend 13 year old, let me repeat, THIRTEEN YEAR OLD, Alfie Patten, fathered a child with his 15 year old girlfriend. As I stated above, the force is strong with this one. Too bad he'll have a eight year old by the time he is 20. The two adolescents were allowed to sleep over each others "flats" because their "mums" were friends and the two enjoyed play station. Apparently, that is not all the two enjoyed...

This is fucking unreal - I thought shit like this was only made up.

The Office quote of the day...

"Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago."

-Creed Bratton, on stealing Kevin's copy of American Pie 2

Welcome to Heartbreak.

My favorite song of the new album
Ya, I like Kanye. Deal with it.



No, Your Computer Isn't Broken.

The Fray Perform Kanye West's Heartless

The Who Did What?

Geocaching

Geocaching is a high tech treasure hunt.

The basic idea is to seek out small, hidden, boxes using a GPS. Adventure seekers follow clues and use hints to guide them towards the boxes, also known as "geocaches." The contents of each box vary. Some have a list, some have small toys, and some have "geodumps". This happens to be one of my favorite parts about geocaching. A "geodump" occurs when someone finds and box, then proceeds to take a shit in the box for future Geocachers to find. Surprise Motherfucker.

Occasionally, the Bomb Squad is also called.

For more information, go here.  You'd be surprised by how many boxes there are in your community.

Shout out to Evan Sauve.

The Office quote of the day...

"When Oscar was five he went to Mexico to visit his grandmother. What does that mean to an United States Law Enforcement official? Possible drug mule..."

-Dwight Schrute, after finding half a joint in the Dunder Mifflin parking lot

Secret Wars.

Secret Wars is like a freestyle rap battle.... with a marker. 

Two artists clash in a 90 minute duel. They are each given a 20 foot canvas, black ink, and a random theme. There are no sketch books and the illest mural takes home the crown. Champions are determined via a three point system, two judges and a crowd of onlooking art lovers. I wish I could have one of these guys decorate my dorm.

The Office quote of the day...

"When I was in the sixth grade I was a finalist in our school's spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel, and I mispelled, in front of the entire school, the word FAILURE."

-Dwight Scrute, speaking about his fear of public speaking

This inspires me...

Probably one of the most notable inspirational speeches in cinema, Al Pacino's Peace By Inches speech in Any Given Sunday, set to a film of rowing images. While the speech pertains to football, the words lend an uncanny amount of relevance to the sport of rowing.

The Last Campaign...

Last night I finished The Last Campaign by Thurston Clarke, a book about RFK and his campaign for the presidency. Oddly enough, I started the book at a Den Party last week, and was so consumed by the 28 page prologue that by the time I finished it, I had missed my turn on the list. So be it. After finishing the work itself, I was struck by how perfect a time in my life the book had found me. TIMEOUT: I'm not a huge believer in fate, or in the predetermination of life, and I generally believe human beings have free will within in set boundaries. However I do believe that the pursuit of knowledge, most specifically reading, is a lifelong journey that is predetermined. I believe that the works we read- the books, the articles, the newspapers, the poems- find us at a specific time. Back to the book. I thought it was an excellent piece and suggest it to anyone who wishes to read a very personal account of Robert Kennedy's last days.

The Office quote of the day...

"The eyes are the groin of the face."

-Dwight Schrute

WHAT!?!

Normally, I try not to post two similar posts in a row but this one was too good to pass up. Shout out to all my fellow Nutmeggers.

From the Director of Superbad..

"James? Did I pronounce that right?"

Adventureland Trailer

All Star Weekend.

No one cares about the Pro-Bowl.
The NHL doesn't matter,
and the MLB All Star Game ended in a tie. Let's get real.

The NBA, however, puts on a show.

Tonight marks the beginning of the festivities. The NBA's elite take center stage in Phoenix this weekend, but the excitement begins even before tip off. Tonight at 7pm ESPN presents the Celebrity Game, featuring Terrell Owens, Dan Majerle, and many more. Following the celebs, on Saturday, is the Skills Challenge, H-O-R-S-E, Shooting Stars, and of course the Dunk Contest and the 3 Point Shootout. Get ready Phoenix.

I remember watching in awe as Air Canada took flight.
I remember when Tracy McGrady threw it off the backboard in the course of the game.
I even remember Jordan's last All Star Game.
There is no need for me to say this but I love the NBA All Star Weekend.

No Way. Honestly, No Way.

Kevin Hart dreams big.

Hundreds of people packed the Fernley High School gymnasium. They eagerly awaited Kevin's decision. He had narrowed his choices down to Oregon and Cal. Finally, to the cheers of his peers, he announced that he would be playing college football at Cal. The only problem was, Cal had never heard of him. In fact, no Division I team showed strong interest in him. He deceived an entire community. I don't know who looks dumber, Kevin or the people that believed him.

Joaquin Pheonix.

Usually I refrain from posting viral videos. 

This one, however, is worth a watch.

Joaquin Pheonix has starred in movies such as Walk the Line, Signs, The Village, Gladiator, and We Own the Night. Despite his success, however, he has decided to quit acting and pursue a career in the art of hip hop. If this doesn't sound bizarre enough, check out his latest interview with David Letterman. Can you say awkward?

 

I Love College.

Dude Hits the Nail on the Head.

The Office quote of the day...

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy...both. I want people to fear how much they love me..." -Michael Scott

Street Art.

The artist known as Roadsworth.

This inspires me.

Also Check Out Banksy. He's Unreal.

Dorm Noise.

Brand New Playlist Added Today!

Also Check Out This Live Performance By Imogen Heap Performing "Just For Now"

Swagger Like Us...

This is usually my fellow blogger's area, so I won't step on any toes with this post. However, I just wanted to point out that one of the few bright spots in an otherwise dull Grammy Awards was the ridiculous remix of Swagger Like Us, which has been embeded into my post below (once again my fellow blogger is also more tech savvy than I). Jay-Z, Kanye, TI, Lil' Wayne, M.I.A and M.I.A's "almost born" unborn child (the Sri Lankan entertainer was, I repeat was, due yesterday) by all accounts rocked the stage. Another bright spot included Coldplay's medley of "Viva La Vida" and "Lost"- only enhanced by the appearance of Jay-Z. One entertainer that got way too much hype for a so-so performance was U-2 performing a new track off their new album due out next month. It remains to be seen whether the rest of the album lives up to a world of expectation. Then again, it is Bono, the man can do no wrong.

Check This Band Out..

Passion Pit

Cuddle Fuddle

Also Download:

I've Got Your Number

Sleepyhead

The Kindle 2.0....

For those of you who don't know, the humble authors of this blog use their spare time in various pursuits outside of blogging. Both of us are students. Neither of us have vocations, but we both hit cups like its our job. And we both happen to be avid readers of, well, anything. This post goes out to all those like us.
Today, Amazon Inc. released the Kindle2, a product no bigger than the average periodical that Amazon hopes will save its slowly deteriorating company. Just like the music industry is slowly collapsing due to the availability of electronic versions of it product, so is the "paper and binding" book industry. No, the publishing industry will never cease to exist, but like everything else, books and periodicals are feeling the affects of the technological revolution. The iPod revolutionized hand held media, the almost universally owned product did so in less than a decade (it took the PC nearly 25 years), while completely transforming the music industry into what it is today. Amazon hopes the Kindle will do the same for the book industry. The Kindle 2.0 is about as large as your average Reader's Digest, but can store thousands of titles and periodicals. Much like the iPod interface, users can select from a menu of purchased titles, or hourly updated versions of publications (i.e The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post) and then read for hours; in fact, days: one charge of the Kindle 2.0 can last up to two weeks. This has been one of the most hyped about changes to the new Kindle, which has garnered much more acclaim than its predecessor. In addition to sustainable battery life, the new Kindle has a joystick function for easier reading, a dictionary look up that allows the user to click on any word and learn its definition, and a function that allows the Kindle to read to you. To top it all off, the Queen of capitalism herself, Oprah Winfrey, has given the Kindle 2.0 her shining seal of approval, turning the product into gold. This probably explains the November back orders, but not to worry, the Kindle 2.0 will be available in mass in the coming days. Now only if I had $400 dollars to spare...

Francis and the Lights.

Heard this when I was zonin' the other night. Kind of cool.

Can't Tell Me Nothing Cover

Damn, My Back Hurts..

My last post got me thinking about all the late night beer pong games I've played throughout the years. Nights with never ending win streaks. Nights when wins were hard to come by. Most of all, I thought about the teams that have fallen at our hands and the pussies that got lucky enough to beat us. Because, at its heart, beer bong is a team sport. I've seen kids shoulder heavy burdens and carry their partners to the promise land. In honor of those players that refused to accept defeat, I present to you the top ten beer pong players of our generation.

J.J. Redick 

"Look at J.J. he's on fire, baby!" (Poor Dick Vitale Impersonation) 

Tiger Woods

Wielding a pitching wedge. 

Hasheem Thabeet 

Call a lean, I dare you.

John Belushi

Toga! Toga! Toga!

Steve Nash

Bounce Pass. Two Cups. Thanks.

Barry from Beerfest

Better when he's drunk.

Megan Fox

Total Distraction.

Randy Johnson

Last Cup? No Problem.

Peyton Manning 

Perfect Passer Rating.

Dan Walsh

Crafty Veteran.

Pongin'.

Where I come from, beer pong is more than just a game. It is war.

Battles are waged for pride and bragging rights. History is made and legends are born.

On January 1st, 144 of the best beer pong teams united in Las Vegas for a celebration known as the World Series of Beer Pong. With each team competing for the $50,000 grand prize, chaos was sure to ensue. And it did.

There were four cup rebuttals, odd strategies, and..... water cups?

Read a full account of the tournament here. Trust me, it's worth reading.

I do, however, have a few problems with the World Series of Beer Pong.

One. It's called beer pong for a reason. Drink your beer pussies.

Two. Stop leaning. Even I can dunk a ping pong ball.

Three. Can we get some more creative team names?

The Rubik’s 360.

Almost three decades ago, The Rubik's Cube became an overnight sensation. To this day, it remains the world's fastest selling toy. It was invented by Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture, Erno Rubik. He hasn't been interviewed in ten years and is rarely seen outside of his hometown. Sounds almost like some Willy Wonka shit. But now, Erno has done it again. On February 5 he will debut his newest puzzle, The Rubik's 360. 

The Rubik's 360, according to inside sources, "confronts users with the same frustrating challenge, a task that is simple to understand, with only one possible solution, yet extremely difficult to execute. Players must get the coloured balls from an inner sphere into matching slots on the outer sphere by shaking them through a middle sphere that has only two holes."

I, myself, have solved the original Rubik's Cube several times but this new puzzle looks even more challenging. I expect it to fly off the shelves, so keep a look out for one near you. 

Most Desirable Blunt Mates.

If you've smoked weed you've thought about it. Don't lie. 

Who would be the coolest person to hit the hippy lettuce with?

Anyone and everyone is up for consideration but in order to make it a little bit easier I've divided my list into Dead and Alive. The following top my list.

ALIVE

Barack Obama   

No explanation needed.

The Cast of Who's Line is it Anyway 

Quick. Scenes from a hat.

Morgan Freeman                                 

God. Narrate my bluntride.

LeBron James  

C'mon, it's King James.

Lil Wayne  

Zombie.

Honorable Mention: Shaq, Muhammad Ali, Manny Ramirez, Gary Lawlor, Rainn Wilson

DEAD

Biggie Smalls  

Relax and take notes, while I take totes of the marijuana smoke.

The Beatles  

Paul is dead.

Plato  

Would you steal food to feed your family? Boom.

Bob Marley  

We jammin'.

Gandhi  

Simplicity.

Honorable Mention: Jimi Hendrix, Martin Luther King Jr., Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, Tom Wolfe, Henry David Thoreau

Album Art.

I have bought 4 cd's in my life. 

The College Dropout, Late Registration, Graduation and The Cool. 

A large part of why I bought those records: The Album Art.

I've grown fond of Kanye's style and the art he inspires.

And so, I present some art inspired by Kanye West's 808's and Heartbreak.

Artwork by Fred Hart.

From Pool Water to Bong Water.

Michael Phelps is right at home in the water. Turns out, he's right at home with a bong in his hand as well. Last weekend, photos of Phelps using marijuana were sold to a London tabloid. He has since apologized, but he was probably high when he issued his statement. And I don't blame him in the least bit. I actually like Phelps more, now that I know he milks his vaporizer on the daily. Phelps is 23 years old and ranks high among the people I would like to go on a blunt ride with.

Witnesses at the party said Phelps hit the bong like a champ, or better yet, a gold medalist. I don't doubt it. Take a moment and just consider his lung capacity. 

If I smoke weed will I win 8 gold medals too?

First February Post...

Blog experts say that most amateur blogs die in the first week of inception. Although I'd hardly label The Kettle as "amateur" I must say that this blog is alive and well. Please spread the word that The Kettle is the newest destination on the world wide web. Get at us.